What circle of hell is house hunting in the Bay Area?

We've been up to a bit over here at the Diaz household....one of the biggest things is that we've decided to take the plunge and buy our first home in the Bay Area. Now, if you live here, you KNOW what kind of hell I'm entering....and chances are, if you live anywhere, buying your first home falls somewhere in the seven circles of Dante's Hell.

We found THE place, but became stubborn when they wanted to increase the price even though the agent had just sold the same layout for $475K. Stubbornness usually ends badly. But, as a Taurus and a lawyer's daughter, sometimes I just can't help myself. Suffice to say, we didn't get the place.

When another place, same exact layout, came on the market, we jumped on it. And that's when the hell really started. This agent has a monopoly on the complex that we want to live in, so she knew that we want in, because she knew we had written and lost out on the other place.

Though our income, and credit, would be good enough for anywhere else (apparently), but the Bay Area, it puts us in the tricky position of being too poor to be a decent enough down payment down, and too rich to qualify for any possible home-buying assistance.

Hell, I'm just grateful that I have a decent job that I happen to love, but I can't help wishing my hubby made more. That he could help out more with finances...and I know that's not very modern of me, but it's how I feel, especially when we put ourselves into financially stressful situations. But, isn't this part of marriage? Weathering the stressful and hard times together, and being stronger for it. I'm also lucky enough to have a man that has no issue with making less, and has offered to sign a paper giving me full ownership, should anything happen. Obviously that's not romantic, but it's good to be realistic and protect yourself, right?

So, here we are...we put in an offer which was a fair market amount, gave them the option of keeping the appliances, and appraisal contingency. They offered back a thousand less than asking, no contingency, we keep the appliances, and no appraisal contingency. For those that have no clue what an appraisal contingency is, it's something that's put on the contract, so if the house appraises for less than what you agreed on (and what the bank will loan you), then you can walk away from the deal. We wrote another offer, agreeing to everything but keeping the contingency on. She took THREE WHOLE DAYS to write back, and share her original offer...no negotiation. Nothing.

Feeling like I had no option (I guess I should tell you here that our landlord wants to kick us out at the end of October to renovate and re-rent our place at a much higher rate), I agreed to it. So, here we are, waiting...once again. The sellers signed the offer (and really, why wouldn't they? It gives them EVERYTHING and screws us), so now the selling agent, who I affectionately call Ms. Bully Slacker, is taking her sweet time sending us the contract. And I'm starting to go crazy lol

I also can't get over the fact that I feel like I've been suckered, which no one in the history of the world has ever enjoyed. They get everything, and I am still getting kicked out at the end of October. Luckily, my cousin has offered to let us stay there, but after years of not living with anyone, moving in with family will be tricky. Totally worth the end result, I keep telling myself, but I wanted to get this deal done so we could move in at the end of October.

I know everyone goes through this, maybe not to this extent, but at least some small part of it...and we're not alone. I'm trying to force the positive on me, I mean is it possible to have buyer's remorse before you're even in contract? I think it's just that I'm sick of waiting, you know? I'm sick of not knowing FOR SURE that it's ours, ours, and not being able to get started on the planning, of being kept in a stressful sort of limbo...